What do I have to do to get you to quit hitting on me but still attract the attention of girls?
Cordially,
Me
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Ever wanted to write a short letter to something that could never respond?
Labels
- advice (2)
- Aging (1)
- alcohol (1)
- also try showering (1)
- also you're really hard to put back on (1)
- analogies (1)
- And now that I've proved my point (1)
- And now you know my secret — damn (1)
- angry stomach (2)
- annoying (1)
- anorexic coma (1)
- anything made from the flesh of any dead animal is meat (1)
- apology (1)
- apologyology (1)
- appetite (1)
- As much as I'd like to believe it my intelligence is insulted when you lie (1)
- At least not for a while (1)
- at least with audiobooks I can listen while I do other things (1)
- Aww and I didn't get you anything (1)
- beard (1)
- beating a dead horse (1)
- Belly Button (1)
- blind (1)
- bored (1)
- bruises (1)
- calico (1)
- cats (1)
- cell phone (1)
- Chandler Arizona (1)
- Charles Darwin (1)
- chatting (1)
- chest hair (1)
- chicken (1)
- classic rock (1)
- clean (1)
- cold showers (1)
- college (1)
- commas (1)
- concerts (1)
- dating (1)
- death (1)
- delicious agony (1)
- Denny's (1)
- desperate times (1)
- diploma (1)
- dirty (1)
- disappointment (1)
- DJs (1)
- does this bore anyone else? (1)
- dog paws (1)
- Don't even get me started on Facebook (1)
- don't talk to me I'm sleeping (1)
- Don't you have a GED to study for? (1)
- Don't you have other ways to make me want to see the next episode? (1)
- don't you think I'd change the battery if I had a new one (1)
- dream (2)
- Drink till she's a ten (1)
- driving (2)
- early morning plans (1)
- Easy Mac (1)
- eating (1)
- elitism (1)
- email (1)
- Emoticons (1)
- enemy (1)
- english (1)
- Every style seems to get recycled (1)
- everyone "bumps" it differently (1)
- evolution (1)
- eyebrows (1)
- facial hair (1)
- fair food (1)
- fake death (1)
- famous (1)
- farce (1)
- fascination (1)
- fashion (1)
- fish is meat stupid (1)
- food (1)
- Freeway love (1)
- funeral (1)
- ginger face (1)
- girlfriend (1)
- girls (2)
- glaring typos don't seem like something a reputable company would let slip by (1)
- going phishing (1)
- goodbye weekend (1)
- Google (1)
- groceries (1)
- growing up (1)
- guacamole on the brain (1)
- gurgle blurg (1)
- gym (1)
- Halogen bulbs (1)
- handshakes (1)
- happiness (1)
- here's to my future (1)
- high school (1)
- hits (1)
- hobos (1)
- holograms (1)
- Honesty (1)
- hot water never wants to shower as long as I do (1)
- HOV (1)
- how are you beeping with no battery? (1)
- How to use literally correctly (1)
- Huckleberry Finn (1)
- I actually like the smell of dog paws so I was pleasantly surprised (1)
- I bet you're so pissed at the city that usurped your title (1)
- I can hang out in buildings all day and nobody asks me to leave (1)
- I can't take you anywhere (1)
- I didn't know any better (1)
- I do concede however that it is annoying when a band you've liked for ages makes it big an then everyone else knows about them (1)
- I have no problem with you liking tea it's just not for me (1)
- I probably wasn't going to buy your trinkets anyway (1)
- I really only follow this rule in cafeterias (1)
- I told you so (1)
- I want my time back (1)
- I wish I could say the same for you pasta and udon soup (1)
- I wouldn't even be up right now if it was for you (1)
- I'd be happiest if I never heard from you again (1)
- I'd never apologize to metal for anything ever (1)
- I'd prefer you pick brown but we both know that won't happen (1)
- I'll even do it when I'm not even going to use it (1)
- I'll feel even worse when I hear about you going out of business (1)
- I'll just hit snooze a few dozen more times (1)
- I'm a toys R us kid (1)
- If i bought a cat it'd still be alive when I turn 40 and I am so not ready for that (1)
- If I tattooed almost anything I liked on myself even 10 years ago I'd hate myself for it now (1)
- If I'm not famous yet you can't be either (1)
- In my defense nobody I knew when I was little listened to classic rock (1)
- In retrospect I feel bad (1)
- internet (2)
- is peexting a thing? (1)
- It probably wouldn't have been that fun anway (1)
- It was my stomach I swear (1)
- It's always frustrating when people don't listen but then again I rarely listen (1)
- It's like shopping me has no idea what I actually will take the time to make (1)
- it's not the 70's anymore (1)
- It's still tea therefore I don't like it (1)
- Job (2)
- Jolly Roger (1)
- Lady Gaga (1)
- late late night snack (1)
- Laugh Tracks (1)
- laundry (1)
- lazy (1)
- lol at English "rules" (1)
- Lost (1)
- low dose radiation (1)
- low point in a band's career (1)
- low standards (1)
- Mario Kart (1)
- Marquee Theater (1)
- Masturbation jokes (1)
- maturity (1)
- me (1)
- minimum wage (1)
- missed connections (1)
- mom (1)
- mortality (1)
- movie (1)
- music (3)
- Music I'd be embarrassed to admit I listened to (1)
- Mustache (1)
- my body (8)
- My mom doesn't pick out my pants like she did when I was in grade school (1)
- my own special road (1)
- My stomach — the betrayer (1)
- mysteries (1)
- Neutral Milk Hotel (1)
- Nintendo (1)
- No game (1)
- No really I don't like tea (1)
- no thanks (1)
- nobody can hear me flush unlike the phone (1)
- not gay (2)
- Not that I need my sperm right now (1)
- Nothing against you I have gay friends I just don't swing that way (1)
- Nothing in fridge can me made in less than 2 minutes? STARVE (1)
- Now what am I supposed to do? (1)
- Oh you think that might look good on me? I'll be the judge of that (1)
- Once (and again and again and again) upon a time (1)
- One of the few pleasures I derive from driving (1)
- ostrich (1)
- Owl City (1)
- pants (1)
- password (1)
- pay to park (1)
- peace of mind (1)
- peeing (1)
- plans (1)
- Pleats (1)
- politics (1)
- pooping (1)
- pop tarts (1)
- pretentious (1)
- pubes (1)
- punctuation (1)
- radio (1)
- reading (1)
- refrigerator (1)
- regrettable sex (1)
- Retail Harrassment (1)
- rinsing in freezing water (1)
- Rock Star Favorite (1)
- science fails us yet again (1)
- see you in my dreams (1)
- Sellout (1)
- Seriously we don't (1)
- Seriously? (5)
- sheets (1)
- shopping (3)
- shortcut (1)
- should I be proud or ashamed when I win? (1)
- should I have ended that sentence with a question mark? (1)
- Shrek (1)
- Silverware (1)
- sleep (1)
- Smart lights aren't even new (1)
- smells (1)
- sometimes it just feels right to end a sentence with a preposition (1)
- sometimes it's annoying waking up though (1)
- sometimes you want to pay more (1)
- Sorry if I can't do your incredibly complicated 12-part secret handshake exactly right the first time (1)
- Soulmate (1)
- sperm (1)
- Sponges (1)
- Star Wars (1)
- starting over (1)
- steering wheel cover (1)
- Stop being cheap (1)
- stop telling me what to think (1)
- Storm Trooper (1)
- stuff I can't talk intelligently about (1)
- stupid things to be proud of (1)
- Submission (1)
- tattoos (1)
- Taylor Swift (1)
- tea (1)
- teleportation (1)
- Tempe Arizona (1)
- texting (2)
- thank God I don't drink (1)
- That is just way too cheap (1)
- The only way I could think that this might work is if you had a really catchy jingle (1)
- The state of the world is just too depressing (1)
- The worst part is when whatever chat program you're using replaces the text version with the yellow smiley (1)
- There is absolutely no reason to have pubes (1)
- they just don't taste right unless they're burned anymore (1)
- things I won't stop but should (1)
- Things I would only post at 5 am (1)
- Things that scare me (1)
- Things were not the same after that (1)
- This is why I rarely feel the need to wash you (1)
- Thursday night off ≠ Saturday night off (1)
- time travel (1)
- tipping (1)
- toaster oven (1)
- toilet paper (1)
- too old for ink (1)
- top 40 (1)
- Two Headed Boy (1)
- Typos (1)
- undesirable (1)
- unibrow (1)
- Unwanted attention (1)
- Up until my early 20s you were fine (1)
- valentines day (1)
- video games come to mind as well as friends (1)
- Viral Marketing (1)
- Voice Mail (1)
- waste of money (1)
- we don't eat chicken either (1)
- what are you guys wasting your time on? (1)
- What do we call the decade from 2000-2010? (1)
- what kind of person actually wants to be a politician (1)
- What's a *insert embarrassing typo here*? (1)
- who cares (1)
- Why doesn't life listen to you (1)
- Why don't you grow symmetrically either it really bugs me (1)
- Wii (1)
- You even made me make up the word loathfully (1)
- You make me feel a little dirty whenever I let you do that to me (1)
- You're like a little brick of bacteria and you smell like it (1)
- You're thinking of a pescatarian (1)
Followers
Archive
-
▼
2010
(77)
-
▼
February
(30)
- Dear Emoticons,
- Dear Classic Rock,
- Dear Newfangled Smoke Detectors capable of beeping...
- Dear Chat Conversations,
- Dear Sponge,
- Dear Voice Mail,
- Dear Steering Wheel Cover,
- Dear TV Show Cliffhangers,
- Dear Cats,
- Dear Tattoos,
- Dear Wii Mario Party Mini Games,
- Dear Easy Mac,
- Dear Lead Singer of Neutral Milk Hotel,
- Dear Wispy Chest Hairs,
- Dear Laugh Tracks,
- Dear Hot Water,
- Dear Phone Keyboard,
- Dear Toilet Paper Users,
- Dear Stomach,
- Dear Pubes,
- Dear New Girl,
- Dear Commas,
- Dear Girls,
- Dear Gay Guys,
- Dear Reading,
- Dear Arrogant Elitist Slime,
- Dear Hypothetical Attendees of my Funeral,
- Dear Carpool Only Exits,
- Dear 5 a.m. Chimichanga,
- Dear Job,
-
▼
February
(30)
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment