Dear Bros,

Great, you're having an in depth discussion about sports, I hope you'll excuse me while I sit quietly or try to find a conversation I can contribute to.
Sincerely,
Me

Dear Non-Vegetarians,

Vegetarians do not eat fish.


Sincerely,
Me

Dear Small Boutique,

Being in your store makes me feel so guilty and so sorry for you that I have to leave before it ruins my day.

Sorry,

Me

Dear Traffic Lights,

At four in the morning there is absolutely no excuse you can give me that will justify being stuck at a red light at an empty intersection for several minutes.


Loathfully,
Me

Dear Handshakes,

Any time I'm forced to do any variation on the classic, I end up looking like a complete idiot.


Love,
Me

Dear Bruise,

As usual, I haven't the foggiest idea where you came from.


Cordially,
Me