Dear Cell Phone,

I realize that I'm literally taking your life in my hands every time I pee text but I just can't stop.


Sorry,
Me

Dear Phishers,

Your emails might sucker more people into giving you their personal information if you took the time to learn English and worked on your spelling a little bit.


Sincerely,
Me

Dear Politics,

The less I think about you the happier I am.


Respectfully,
Me

Dear Mustache,

Quit wasting time and connect with the rest of my beard already!


Your loving friend,
Me