Dear Traffic Lights,

At four in the morning there is absolutely no excuse you can give me that will justify being stuck at a red light at an empty intersection for several minutes.


Loathfully,
Me

Dear Overly Zealous Store Worker,

Hell no I'm not going to stay in your store and be endlessly interrogated, propositioned and otherwise harrassed.


Goodbye,
Me

Dear Newfangled Smoke Detectors capable of beeping with no battery,

You were designed by an evil genius, I'm almost too impressed to be mad, almost.


Respectfully yours,
Me

Dear Toilet Paper Users,

How is it possible that I'm the only one that isn't too lazy to actually take the 10 seconds to switch out the empty roll for a new one?

Your concerned friend,

Me

Dear Dreamworks,

We didn't want or need Shrek the Third, what ever possessed you to make Shrek 4?

Until next time,

Everyone Everywhere